2011.. Looking up to some drastic changes in LIFE!

Plans plans and more plans... Somehow for me they don't always seem to fall in the right place. Have had some set-backs in the last decade. Not-so-pleasant-learnings that came through in life, something that I should have anticipated being the "Intuitive me!" But alas, I am one of those people who learn from own mistakes :-/

Career wise there were some difficult decisions I had to take, luckily things fell in the right place somehow :) Touch-wood! atleast this is one area of my life where I know where I am heading to. Now I am excitedly looking forth to how this year unfolds itself. Hoping for the best!

On a personal level, life has been not so good. Arrrgh... in fact it sucks! As if the last decade was not enough, I started my new year with some pathetic expectations! Typically emotional me, I still wonder why the hell don't I learn my lessons well :?
Well, finally now (I think) I am pretty clear of where I need to stop my emotions and get practical :)

Few things I still need to figure out for myself this year (hopefull i do figure them out)

Considering that I am nearing 30 (yeah, i just can't believe I crossed nearly half my life span), I still am the conservative daughter to my parents. It is out of love, care and respect towards them that I am still staying with them, but my mind keeps dilly-dallying on the facts and practicality of this decision. But I need to give these thought some rest, coz I don't think my parents are prepared to take a dose of life and practicality from me. For them, the decision of staying in Mumbai is driven by my presence in this city. Given a choice, they would want to move back to their native (which is a pretty decent city). But then what the hell am I going to do with my career is the next question! I have thought over it and decided that I cannot move :-|

People have been asking me questions about what am I planning to do with my 'Life', when am I deciding to 'Settle down' in life... blah blah blah! I really don't have answers for these questions. For me life just doesn't happen in plans. I am not one of those women who have a charted out life plan, like, find a guy by 25, get married by 27, have babies by 30! Looking at the pace that I am going, I don't know when the hell I am even planning to get married.... (See, thats how clueless and vague I am)

I am not 'super happy' with my life and its developments. But when plans just don't work, I believe in leaving it to god! I am sure god exists and (she/he) knows whats right for me... maybe she/he is just a bit too busy attending others ;) I am still in queue maybe :(

But I just want to thank a few people in my life for making my life the way it is now...
My parents - they have been with me through thick and thin, even if they didn't like my decisions (most of the time). I love you mom and I love you a lot dad, its just that I don't know how to tell you both how much you matter to me in my life!
My sis - I really can't mention any particular instance in my life that she has made significant, coz then it will be unfair. Its her mere presence in my life that has made a difference to me! Love you butterfly :-*
My dear 'golu' - (you know I am mentioning about you) Its been so many years, and I still can't precisely mention any one particular moment where your support and presence is not required in my life. You just make life more bearable and easier to understand, at times when I just don't figure out the "Why the hells" :D
Friends and colleagues - Can't mention anyone specifically, but yes each of you through your kindness, friendliness, guidance, support, love & yeah not to forget bitchiness, selfishness, lies, diplomatic games and what not (yeah even these kind of people are worth thanking coz without them I wouldn't have learnt about people and their influences in my life ;) )

So much more to understand, so much to learn... hope I do all this in 2011 :)

Although I am late, but yes I have a list of resolutions to share... maybe in my next post :)

An Eventful last week...

Hmmpf! Where to start... its been a really long long time I didn't give time to blogging. There were a lot of changes, new developments and some self-realization moments happening since past few months! Finally things (my mind) seems to have settled and now I know how "I want my life to be"!

Back to the title of this post... Last week was an eventful week... some really awesome moments have left me feeling happy for at least the next 1 month!

To start with... just next to my office is this beautiful (the international brands in it make it beautiful ;P) mall 'Palladium' and I have been looking forward to shop in there since quite sometime... So finally when I could spare time out of my suffocating work schedules... I went for some splurging! Ended up buying from'Vero Moda' (its a Spanish brand) a sexy pair of denims... 3 slim shirts... 2 hot shorts (coz they make me look so!)... a leather belt.... all this and my pockets were lighter by 12k! Didn't mind it though, coz one - I haven't been shopping since a while, two - I looooveee shopping ;)

The shopping spree just didn't end here... next destination was footwear... got some neat ones at Lifestyle, which can last me for this monsoon. Futher, my desires urged me to buy a handbag... and Baggit had some good collection of handbags (non leather ones, coz its monsoon) of my choice. For formal handbag, I had a very specific choice... it had to accomodate my laptop as well. Found one that really looks chic, formal, sturdy and a neutral shade. Huh! so much for a handbag, but thats how it is!

To add onto the happiness of shopping... the weekend was even better... It was my closest friend's birthday and we celebrated it over some awesome lunch... Feel like recommending the restaurant to everyone I know :) 'Sai Sannidhi' - Its on Ghodbunder Road, near the toll naka towards Borivli... exactly at Chena Bridge/ River junction. We ordered for some good red wine, and delicious starters. The main course was equally delicious... couldn't stop myself from over eating! Almost licked the plates clean :D The service is prompt and the staff is very informative and courteous.

I'd like to recommend this restaurant for all those who want a peaceful evening/ afternoon with some great food. A must visit if you are around the Ghodbunder Road stretch. Its a multi-cuisine restaurant, but really good for Chinese/ Continental, Manglorean cuisine... and especially Sea Food! I don't recommend Punjabi cuisine there coz I'm not sure they are scoring so good on the Authenticity parameter. For me authenticity tops the list of parameters. The pricing is also moderate, not too high.

All in all, an awesome weekend lunch :) sigh! I'm already looking forward to eating there again.

Just to add on... for some authentic Thai food... head on to 'Thai-Chi' at Nirmal Lifestyle, Mulund (I feel its a bit over-priced, but I really don't mind it till I get some authentic and awesome food).

For the typical Punjabi food its 'Dara Dhaba' at Kashigaon, on Ghodbunder Road... believe me, you'll end up over-eating, and feel free to take a short nap on the 'khatiyas' (yeah, the seating area is rural punjabi style).

And for some great Gujrati thali (my favorite!) the best place is 'Rajdhani'. Its at various locations in Mumbai... Crawford Market, InOrbit Mall - Malad, Nirmal Lifestyle - Mulund, and a few more...

Maybe I'll review these restaurants in my further posts...

Mr. Thakeray you should start a PR agency! lolz....

Today morning I'd been to the Kalaghoda festival to enjoy and relax. It was refreshing indeed!

While I was planning how to spend the rest of the day... I caught up with my friends and they suggested we all go for MNIK (My Name Is Khan). For a moment I was taken aback since the threats from Shiv Sena (Mr. Thakeray) seemed serious... My friends started pepping me up with some lecture on standing- up- for- your- rights kinda thing... and I gave in.

So Regal being the nearest theatre from Kalaghoda screening the show... we proceeded in that direction. The moment we reached there the scene was something I saw for the first time in my life... Heavy police protection, the whole area outside the theatre was barricaded, and no advance bookings were given away!

 The owners of the theatre had not changed the previous movie name and timing to MNIK's... but who cares, everyone knew what they were there for :P
Since we reached there at 3 pm, and the first show was scheduled for 3.30 pm we decided to stand in the queue! And believe me, there was a huge line outside the theatre, and the police was allowing just a few people at a time to the box office to book tickets for the 3.30 pm show. (Check out the pic below....)

We finally managed to bag 4 tickets in the upper stalls (yeah, even that was great considering the amount of crowd gathered to watch the movie!).... and the show was rescheduled for 4 pm! We waited patiently for the barricades to be opened to let us in the theatre and show our support, and of course enjoy the movie :)

At last, around 4.15 pm we got to go inside the theatre... women were sent in first, and then men! We all settled into our seats, and I was surprised to see nearly 30-40 police officers seated in the lower stalls... the whole of the lower stalls (rows closer to the screen) were blocked! (This was done so that no anti-social element does anything to the screen)

The show started around 4.45 pm... and believe me it ran house-full!

Never in my life till now was I surrounded with so many police officers... and nor had I ever gone to watch a movie in such a tense situation! Although I was a bit worried, but it was all in all a thrilling experience! And the movie is superb!!! Loved it :D SRK rocks!

Really, with all this opposition towards screening the movie and such a hulla-boo towards SRK's statement (which was his opinion, and being a citizen of a democratic nation its his right)... Mr. Thakeray increased the curiosity and thrill for the public to go and throng the theatres to watch MNIK!

My suggestion to Shiv Sena and especially Mr. Thakeray.... stop this dirty communal politics (coz they are anyways making it more murkier!) and start a Public Relations (PR) Agency! Coz what they did for MNIK is really what the PR guys get paid for!!! lolz.....

... Is this what we'll leave for our children?!

                                                       pic: http://www.projectbiwan.com/

When I was a kid, I loved visiting zoos and sanctuary. I used to spend the longest time watching tigers play, sleep, walk, jump around. All that I am left with now are memories...

Tigers have always been endangered species... but since ages they have been hunted, poached for adorning walls, floors and bodies of royal families. Even after the government declaring hunting and poaching illegal... our hunger for 'dead tiger' is not satiated.

Read the following Tiger facts:-

• From 40,000 Tigers at the turn of the last century, there are just 1411 Tigers left in India!
• 2009 was the worst year for Tigers in India, with 86 deaths reported.
• There are 37 tiger sanctuaries in India. However, 17 sanctuaries are on the verge of losing their Tiger population.
• Corbett National Park is the oldest tiger park in India. It was created in 1936 as 'Hailey National Park'
• The Kanha National Park's lush sal and bamboo forests, grassy meadows and ravines provided inspiration to Rudyard Kipling for his famous novel, 'The Jungle Book' (source: www.saveourtigers.com)

There are various reasons for the death of Tigers:-

• Illegal trade of Tiger body parts. There is a huge demand for tiger body parts across the world. Skin for fashion, other body parts for oriental medicines and food! (how inhuman!)
• It is estimated that quantum of trade in wildlife products is just next to narcotics, valued at nearly 20 billion dollars in the global market, of this more than one third is illegal.
• Illicit trans boundary trade in tiger body parts has increased due to lucrative prices offered for Tiger bones in particular.
• As per one estimate (1999) 10 gms. of tiger bones fetch a price of US$ 24.25 at the China-Vietnam border, i.e. above Rs. 1 lakhs per kg. In Japan, trade in Tiger parts and products was permitted till April, 2000.
• Depleting wildlife quantity and quality, and prey base is making the tigers walk into human occupied areas.
• Human invasion into wildlife occupied areas, thereby disturbing the eco-system. (source: www.projecttiger.nic.in)

Looking at the above facts and statistics of undying human hunger for Tigers... If it doesn't stop here... I guess I may end up showing photographs of Tigers to my children just beside Dinosaurs and other extinct species... Such a pity, they will never be mesmerised by Tigers the way I was when a kid!!!

Lets join in the cause and raise our voice... Save the Tigers!!!

I'm not happy :(

Nowadays I seem to be so lost... I don't find myself happy anymore :(
Its not that I am unhappy in life... just that things/ actions that used to hold my interest earlier don't anymore.
Things like... my work, the stress, pressure related to it, money, people around... nothing is catching my interest levels!
All that I am left with doing nowadays is introspecting. I really want to know what will make 'me' HAPPY!

A career choice that I had taken up with so much of enthusiasm doesn't make me happy anymore....
Money, that I am earning out of my profession, is not making me happy... not that I am not earning good... its a pretty decent sum that I am getting paid but still I am not happy! And the surprising part is, its not that I want more money, but the feeling I am having is 'Is this money that I am earning making me a happy person?'!
People around me are basically good, whatever their selfish interests maybe, but I am not finding any significant difference by their presence in my life... also that I am not making any significant difference in their lives! And believe me, I want to...
For once I don't want to be weighed down by others expectations from me... I want to live life...
I love 'Life'... its really 'Beautiful'... and I truly believe it... but with this kind of a life structure I am not able to live it!

I have thought about all this a lot... and I still feel the same. And when the feeling stays for so long... (bouts of dissatisfaction are common)... there is really something that needs to be changed!
I have thought about changing my profession... and thinking on this I have realised that I want to teach... do some social work...
I know I will be getting paid much lesser than what I am getting paid now... but at least I will be going back home with a happy feeling, a feeling that I have made a difference in someone's life for the day! I can also take time out of my 'life' to pursue my interests that have been lying dormant since years... painting, photography, traveling (hmm... just thinking about it is making me smile :D)

Money is important in life... but somehow I have realised that if its not making you happy, its a waste!

Hmm... lets see how I take this up... hope I do something good for myself :)

When should we let go life...?

Just recently, a few days back, I had read this beautiful book "The Choice" by Nicholas Sparks. The book is about love and belief. I don't want to be a spoiler by writing down the story, but in the story there is a situation where a legal "Living Will" is mentioned. It left me pondering and evaluating the possibilities of having a living will for myself.

A living will usually provides specific directives about the course of treatment that is to be followed by health care providers and/or caregivers in a situation when the person in consideration is physically and mentally incapable to decide for himself/ herself.

In some cases a living will may forbid the use of various kinds of burdensome medical treatment. It may also be used to express wishes about the use or foregoing of food and water, if supplied via tubes or other medical devices. The living will is only used if the individual has become unable to give informed consent or refusal due to incapacity. A living will can be very specific or very general.

An example of a statement sometimes found in a living will is: “If I suffer an incurable, irreversible illness, disease, or condition and my attending physician determines that my condition is terminal, I direct that life-sustaining measures that would serve only to prolong my dying be withheld or discontinued.”

Lot of people think that a 'Living Will' is same as 'Euthanasia' or 'Mercy killing'. Technically it is not. Instead, while we are still healthy and in control of our minds, a ‘living will’ could allow us to decide what should happen to us, in case we are ever fatally ill. More specifically, we could consent to or reject various forms of life support. We could choose what is often called a ‘natural death’. It is said that 'Living will' is almost the equivalent of Passive or Non-active euthanasia. (There are 3 types of Euthanasia - Passive, Non-active, Active. I feel euthanasia is altogether a different controversial topic to discuss, and I would discuss it another time.)

On July28, 2009, US President Barack Obama was the first President to publicly announce that he has a living will, and encouraged others to do so. A living will is very common in the US, but it still hasn't been given a legal status in India. There are many complications linked to it. Medically and technologically though we have progressed, emotionally we still would not be willing to do this to our loved ones. Coz we believe that whether old or ill, it is our responsibility to care for them. But again a contradicting question to it, would we want to see our loved ones in pain not able to express their anguish, distress and helplessness? I am sure no one wants to be a burden on their loved ones, rather would prefer dying with dignity and peace, but on the other hand to think of it, aren't we giving up on life because we don't want to fight? Isn't it cowardice? (a serious question to ponder...)

Another very important point to consider is, do we trust our doctors, healthcare specialists to be entrusted with such a vital decision of our life? In a scenario where we find doctors and medical practitioners minting money in the name of such a noble profession, can we give our life's decision in their hands in a situation where we are incapable of deciding? Also, if not the doctors, if we entrust our lives in the hands of our near and dear ones (caregivers), what if they make the decision to pull us off the plug when we are actually struggling and wanting to recover and live, but can't express? Imagine if we have a change of mind/ will at the last minute and not being able to express our desire to live, whereas our caregivers are unwillingly following our living will?

I really can't say much for myself, as to which side I am on. At some point in life we have all felt the heartbreak watching someone we love grow old. And as we see them struggling to live, breath... even the sceptics/ atheists among us cling on to prayers to give them one more decade, year, month, week. We are shaken up to the extent that each night we go to sleep with prayers and whisper to ourselves to let them see the next day's sunrise. And when we wake up to see them alive, we are grateful.

Death is invincible. But what if life in itself leaves us feeling powerless? Imagine someone you care and love living the rest of their life strapped onto artificial respirators, feed tubes and pipes. Can we possibly guess what would be our reaction if it happens to one of us? When our body stops responding to our brains, when some fatal disease/ accidents sucks out our 'life' and merely leaves us being a 'vegetable'? Will we decide then that death may well be an act of kindness?

All that I wrote is just a discussion, since it is a highly controversial topic and I myself am on the divide still trying to figure out which is the right side. I'd like to know your feedback/ opinion as well, coz somehow although it is a controversial topic and legally and ethically forbidden... its something to be pondered upon!

Till then.... Happy living and loving :)

Memories... cherish them :)

I just finished reading "P.S. I Love you" by Cecilia Ahern. Its a beautiful story.

Its about Holly who loses her husband (Gerry), who was her friend, love, life, reason to smile,... everything! She struggles with the loss, and a shattered life. Its about how her friends (Sharon and Denise) stand by her in her struggle with emotions and depression, how Gerry's memories help her move on in life and build new, fresher memories...

What I am trying to come to is that, do we cherish memories for a whole lifetime? (I know a few people who don't even bother or have time to look back and smile... coz they don't feel its important!)

There are so many memories that a person has in life... all are not pleasant. Why can't these memories live with us till our last breath?! Maybe because we feel like moving away from our past in an attempt to build a beautiful tomorrow for ourselves...?!

Memories, can be at various stages of our lives, with people, places, things.... It could be a childhood memory of some friend whom we are not in touch with anymore, with a teacher who pampered you, with a teacher who scolded you/ punished you, annual days, fancy dress competitions, Parents - Teachers meeting, report cards, first crush, first love, first heartbreak, second love, maybe a heart break again, embarassing moments, first kiss, those beautiful places you went to, people who unfortunately are not a part of our life anymore, first day in college, days when you bunked college to be with your friends, first ATKT, exams, summer job, results, nervous and embarassing interviews, job, professional goof ups, resignation/s,... (phew!) the list is endless and subjective.

Memories especially related to a past love are buried somewhere deep down inside us... and we either don't want to remember them, or we tend to get stuck with those memories to such an extent that we don't build new and fresher memories!

I feel we should cherish memories from our past and 'live' on to build more beautiful memories.... coz that is what living is all about!

Another very important question that keeps popping in my mind is... Do we give memories to others worth living and loving?!

Today, while on my way to work, I was listening to this particular song... its from the movie Yaadein (starring Kareena, Hrithik), it goes like this...

"...Nagme hain, Shikwe hain,
Kisse hain, Baatein hain,
Baatein bhool jaati hai, Yaadein yaad aati hai...
...Duniya mein yun aana,
Duniya se yun jaana,
Aao to, lein aana, Jaao to, de jaana... Yaadein, Yaadein..."

I just feel we need to 'Live' more... 'Love' more.... build more and more 'Memories' to last a whole lifetime for ourselves and for others around us :)